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Hornybadgerchad
So, BORS & BORSESSES. I have a question to everyone who's in this shoutbox (of love). If someone asks you, with whom would you like to have sex: Mikael Akerfeldt or Steven Wilson? What would you say? Whom would you choose? And please, explain why. For example, you want to have sex with Mikael Akerfeldt because you want to steal some of his vinyl records while he's asleep.
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SchizoMayunly
I would rather sex Mikael, only because Steven is an incorrigible puppetmaster who might knock me unconscious in order to tie me up and convert me into a full-blown leatherdaddy through MGayUltra electrocock faggotherapy™
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Hornybadgerchad
Recently it's been disclosed the lost letters and their correspondence between Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, which shows how their communist interest was also not about only about it per se, but had something interesting and peculiar. One of the letters I'm gonna read now: «Friedrich, my leatherdaddy angel... (my note: Engels — of angel, from the German)...». And that letter goes on and on about some weird and unknown side of Karl Marx (Mordechai Levi), where it is shown that he called his friend Friedrich as his «leatherdaddy angel». Probably, he just used him as a bank, because as far as it is known, he had always had problems with money. But leatherdaddy angel Friedrich helped him with money. But why? What if they really had something special. Leatherdaddy Angel and DAS KAPITAL ASS. Imagine how Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels aka leatherdaddy angel frot with each other, while writing Das Kapital. And later commies read it, though they don't know it was written during frottage.
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SchizoMayunly
Marxxx was Angel's favourite leatherdaddy from the Blue Oyster Bar, that's why he paid him big money. And they both invented cummunism. "From each according to their abilities to cum, to each according to his thirst." Also, look at the cummunist symbol - it's a sickle crossed with a hammer, it symbolizes frottage between Angel and Marxxx omgomg
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SchizoMayunly
I meant "from each according to his ability to cum" (that's what I get for posting on my phone while riding a mechanical bull at teh Blue Oyster Bar after downing a cider along with some benzos, Juden Peterstein style™)
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Hornybadgerchad
Now I get it. The word communion means really CUMMUNION, where you can find cum-guzzling ceremony (of love) and with candles and some sacred rituals. Probably, this ceremony was used even in the Fagguminati™ circles. But about Opteh... What's the connection? They use the same term, as fagguminati does. And interestingly, but Jizzus also had that magic cup of cumminion. Now I wonder, what really happened there.
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SovietByke
Opeth are a Swedish progressive penis band from Stockholm, formed in 1990. In addition to progressive metal, the band incorporates folk, blues, classical, and jazz elements into its usually lengthy penis, as well as strong influences from death metal, especially in their early penises. Songs may include acoustic guitar passages, Mellodongs, death growls, and strong dynamic penises. The band rarely made live appearances supporting their first four albums, but since their first world tour in support of the 2001 album Blackedwater Park, they have had several other major penis tours. The group have been through several penis changes since early in their history, including the replacement of every original penis. Lead vocalist, guitarist, and primary songwriter Mikael Cockerfeldt has been Opeth's driving penis since the departure of founder and lead penis David Dicksberg in 1992.
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Hornybadgerchad
Anyone heard about 5G conspiracy theories? Some of them says that 5G in reality means 5 GAY RAYS. Didn't you know that fagguminati wanted to make others gay? With 5GAY it can be done faster, with increased speed and with stronger exposure. They tried to make people obsessed about leather & parade, but now, with some alien warlords technology it can be done easier, than it was in the past. 4Gay was not that strong another, but 5Gay would be stronger. That's why it was stated in the Cyberpunk with words of Keanu «You'll make this whole city GAY». It's like prediction made by fagguminati, surely stupid sheeple would never understand, saying «it is fiction», but «why you so unfictionally became gay?». Or that magic glasses from «They Live»? You put on these glasses and see that subconscious programming, that secretly makes you gay? I don't know, I didn't test it on Opteh records, but who knows. Maybe there I would find some creepy message. And that satellite in the end, with gay rays...
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SchizoMayunly
The magic glasses from "They Live" have been tested on Opteh records, here's the result: https://i.ibb.co/thsXNgh/magicglassesopteh.png
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Dogger_Dog
It is both an hom(o)age to the Fagguminati™ and an Ode to Chad (via "Teh Sleaze" MinstrelKnight, may he rest in peace)
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SchizoMayunly
Check out the new Gayz R Us™, your local sex shop (in the city (of teh gayz)) - get the brand new Mikael Åkerfuck Sexmachine™, a life-size replica of Mikael Åkerfeldt, which comes with vibrating 3-inch paynus (erect) and gay moustache, with extra features such as homoerotic falsetto voice, and multi-ball swing-a-ding action. If you love the feeling of cruisin' the chocolate highway while listening to your favourite Opteh songs, this is the one for you. Note: unlike the previous version, this one has no graowelz. And if what gets your motör(penis) running is listening to someone endlessly crying about lobsters and monkeys and telling you to clean your room, don't forget to check out the new Juden Peterstein lovedoll. Simply dab some vaseline around its paynus and stick it in your bunghole for incredible sensations. But if you don't have vaseline, you can lube up with its tears. Note: this inflatable doll's batteries are powered by fagzodiazepines.
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SchizoMayunly
We have toys that cater to every kinky fantasy for all you weirdos out there, from dildos to gagballs to realistic sexdolls with several styles, including leatherdaddy, twink, ropebunny, toiletslave, dominant chainbear, and submissive shitpig. Check out our dildos in the Cock-o-Rama™ section, specifically the brand new Chad Kroeger Seawise Giant Thundershaft™©® - modeled after the Kroegster's dong, this thick veiny loverod can make even the loosest whales moan and squirm with pleasure. If you've got some cougars in your family who are fans of The 'Back, give this badboy as a birthday gift to them and watch them pleasure themselves on top of the dinner table in front of the whole family before they squirt their gravy all over your plate. It's also available as a strap-on dildo - if you're having troubles getting a Svöllen-Böehner you can just strap this purdy lil' thing to your waist and enjoy slammin' your old lady's sweet pussypie. And all of this for just 69 bucks...
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SchizoMayunly
And for all of you sickos out there who just wanna pump and dump but are afraid of giving coronapenis to your grandparents, we have developed a solution for that: the Coronapenis Mask™ - it's a condom made of polypropylene, the same material facemasks (and assmasks) are made of. Thanks to Coronapenis Mask™, you can now enjoy shooting creamy loads o' cum inside your granny's worn-out vahjayjay without feeling ashamed. When your grandma cums home, you'll reach for the Coronapenis Mask™ faster than she can say "please don't rape me again grandson"... and all of this for just 2 cents per mask. Visit Gayz R Us™, your local sex shop in San Francisco (the city (of teh gayz)).
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Hornybadgerchad
I've heard you can get a discount and hot melted cheese for free. Is it true?
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SchizoMayunly
No, but for every purchase you make, you can get a free jar of Mikael's Mayunnaise™. "Damn fine mayunnaise. Rich and creamy, just the way I like it" - review by a british man named Steven
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Hornybadgerchad
WTF? NO GRAOWELZ? WITH GRAOWELZ CUM EXTREME INTENSITY OF PENETRATION. I"M DISAPPOINTED. SO I SHOULD I ENJOY TENDER SEX WITHOUT BRUTALITY? WTF? ONE SINGLE SPEED? AKERFUCK MACHINE™ IS NOT THE SAME, SADLY. NO WONDER AKERSLUTS CAN"T REACH THE CLIMAX, BECAUSE THERE IS NO GRAOWELZ AND HIGH SPEED INTENSITY.
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SchizoMayunly
Well, you can always order the previous version from 2001 - that lovable fucktoy represents the old Mikael, before Shteven poisoned him with estrogenic diets which turned his cookiemonster graowelz into a gay falsetto. But if that's not enough to please you, there's another option: the Pleasureman™, aka Günther's sexdoll. Built with a 7 inch long joystick (footlong erect), tons of high-speed pussy-pounding powah, and constantly blurting out beautiful seductive catchphrases such as "I FEEL LIKE A KING WHEN I SWING MY THING" and "I'M FAMOUS FUCKING HOT I WANNA SEX MYSELF RIGHT HERE", it is the best choice if you love to frot swedish toyboys with moustaches. It's also a good choice if you wanna distract some nasty cougar (or leatherdaddy) trying to get in your pants - just show them the Pleasureman doll, press the button located in between its buttcheeks and watch all the drunken golddiggin' seahags sucking on its tuttifrutti-flavored ding ding dong before you escape from teh nightclub
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Hornybadgerchad
Sadly there's no sextoy as brutal as Brain Drill records with Gunther vibe. because I would've overclimaxed myself up to the point that I'd reach the fifth dimension, straight up to the AIDS OF AQUARIUS™.
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SchizoMayunly
There are some metal covers of Günther songs on jewtube. Needless to say, hearing blast tits, graowelz and guitar distorshunz along with "OH, YOU TOUCH MY TRALALA" made me cum so hard that my Svöllen-Böehner flailed around like a garden hose spewing tons of jizz while the force of its kroejaculation propelled me several meters into the air
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Hornybadgerchad
And btw, so if I want to buy a Judendoll™, I should buy some fagzopines (fagzopenis)? And there would be possibility to buy fake fagzopines, in the same manner as crack, that's why Seth was disappointed.
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SchizoMayunly
Mikael (during an interview): "Back in 2020 when all the bars were closed, I went to the urologist on a daily basis." Interviewer; "Why? Did you get an STD? Coronapenis?" Mikael: "No, I just went there so a guy would touch my dick"
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SchizoMayunly
Bors, I just figured out what HAARP really means: Homosexually Active Aural Rape Program™. It works by blasting modern Opteh out loud and sending the frequencies towards a space station, then that station directs them towards specific places on earth. This technology has power to modify people's thoughts and emotions, turning them gay. It also has the ability to change the weather and cause earthquakes in countries that refuse to implement fagguminati laws such as mandatory gay marriage. Also last year Turkey refused to let Sweden enter NATO (North Atlantic Tranny Organization™), this was offensive to fagguminati given the fact that the saviours of teh gayz are from Sweden (Opteh), so a few days after that, Turkey was destroyed by a massive girthquake. Coincidence? I don't think so, it was fagguminati's revenge...
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Hornybadgerchad
Or not long ago that operation in the East. They did this, because those people rejected the idea of being gay. While in jizzrael gay parties are like a cultural phenomenon so as money sluts. Go party, take acid, dance with trance and with molly you'd fall in love with a jewish leatherdaddy™. Some say that happened, because someone from the other side felt repugnant, that jewish leatherdaddy wanted to seduce him and he experienced panic attack and became extremely based. citing Qaddafi. He also screamed: «they want to make us gay, they want to make us gay». Archlizards from fagguminati started to feel that their existence is threatened, so they decided to do that thing.
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Hornybadgerchad
Was there any paragraph about making gay progressive cock music to make goys gay?
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SchizoMayunly
While the Protococks™ don't mention anything about progressive rawk in specific, they give us a few hints: "We have fooled, bemused and corrupted the youth of the GOYIM (and turned them into GAYIM) by rearing them in music genres which are known to us to be homosexual although it is by us that they have been inculcated."
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Hornybadgerchad
It's liked that meme with Keanu from Cyberpunk: «You'll make this whole city GAY».
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Hornybadgerchad
Opteh — In My Time Of WEED™. The main composer of the song is Mikael Stonerfeldt.
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SchizoMayunly
Dopeth - "Porcelain HORSE", written by Mikael Smackerfeldt™ (aka Mike when he was addicted to heroin)
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SchizoMayunly
Powderpeth - Black Tar Immortal. IT IS COLD IN HERE... FROST SCAR MY THROAT WITH ANGELDUUUUUUUUUUUUST
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Hornybadgerchad
MushroOPETH — Harvest (Of mushrooms). «Into the orchards I walk perryping way past the gate, Wilted scene of cops for us who couldn't waait».
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SchizoMayunly
Lysergic acid Opethylamide - Patterns In The LSD II. "It runs in me, your acid seething in my veins, my skin is old and stained by Steven's golden rains"
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grimIy_fiendish
Halo of cock, all I see is the curvature Coomer's lament, but it's me who's the swallower
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Hornybadgerchad
Limp Dicksquirt — Take A Dick Around: «I know you why wanna be a leatherdaddy, I know why you wanna be a leatherdaddy, know why you wanna be a leatherdaddy, 'cause sex with sluts is not worth lately».
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SchizoMayunly
"If jizz were a currency I'd be stinkin' rich, I have tons of it inside my ass" ~ Mikael
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Hornybadgerchad
Henry Frot also wrote the most amazing book, «The international cocksuckers™» that was considered as a bestseller during 20-30s or something. And his most amazing quote from the book, that if you're wanna get rid of all wars — you should control international cocksucker families™, because every war is fought for cum and the CONTROL OF THE CUM.
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SchizoMayunly
Mikael wrote lyrics about Faggoty Reserve™, US Treajewry™ and the international wanker™: "HIS MOUTH IS A VORTEX, SUCKING CUM INTO ITS PANDEMONIUM, FOOLS YOU WITH A HELPING HAND OF CASHES, REACHED OUT BECAUSE THEY'RE GAY" And wut happens when there's no cum left? Acockalypse™, becuz without cum, the mens can't impregnate the womens. So the human species is wiped off the map™.™
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Hornybadgerchad
Don't forget that Blackcock organisation™ with Larry Twirk worked in tandem with Georgesaurus, who patented niggacumextractionmachine™. That's why it was called that way, that those cum-guzzling fags got hooked on niggas' cum. Goyim aryan cum didn't work anymore, so they got the primal tribal cum from the villages of Afrotrica. That's why also why some of the chosen leatherdaddies™ have curly hair. Know how this happened? Independent daughter™ of jizzrael leatherdaddy was having fun in different places, including in ghettos and hoods and clubs. And she thought that she could fool a nigga, seducing him and getting her hand on his money, aka free drinks, etc, etc. So, she turned him on, got free cocktails from the bar and tried to get away without being seen. So, that dude got extremely horny, inner beast from Afrotrica awoke in him and jooish american princess tried to run away from him. But later, he caught her and had sex. Later, little Benny was born to leatherdaddy's daughter.
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SchizoMayunly
Guize, have you heard about carnivore diet? It's Juden Peterstein's favourite diet, and it consists of guzzling cum all day long - cum is an animal product so technically it counts, and it's teh best diet if you're a bodybuilder who needs tons of protein, so if you want to show your ♂BIG♂SUCCULENT♂MUSCLES♂ at contests in front of the judges (who are all closeted leatherdaddies), you better start swallowing loads and loads of cum, boys. His daughturr Kikehaila also consumes this diet, and don't forget Mikael Kikerfeldt from Opteh, he's also a carnivore™.
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SchizoMayunly
Wear a mask on your dong too, you don't want to catch coronapenis from wild frotteurs frotraping random dudes in public. It happened to me in 2020 and I had to spend several months locked up in quarantine feeding off my own taint sweat to survive
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Hornybadgerchad
At least you weren't forced to cum, because other they would've wanted to find coronapenis™ in your cum. And you weren't a test-subject of that cumextractionmachine™ made by Georgesaurus.
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Hornybadgerchad
Some dude told me cool story how he visited church, where he got advice from the pastor. He was interested in the matter of how to get rid of sins and he felt quite bad and embarrassed about the things he'd done. So, he reached the pastor and spoke a bit and in the end he was shocked. Why? Because he felt amazed about the words that pastor said. He confessed about homersexual sins and how he felt himself defiled. The pastor told him: «Don't worry, son, Leatherdaddy Jesus will help you to get rid of your homersexual sins». Later, he added: «Read «Hail Leatherdaddy» 69 times». He was shocked and experienced weird anxiety, so he should've taken the pill, recommended to him by Juden Peterstein (because he was experienced user of benzos). And he thought that the pastor trolled him, though he's not sure.
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SchizoMayunly
Maybe that pastor was Mikael, or Steven. Also I guess the sinner wasn't a trve honeybadger, otherwise he wouldn't have given a shit about redemption
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SchizoMayunly
Metalucifer could write a song about that vibrator. I bet it would be titled "HEAVY METAL DILDO".
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Hornybadgerchad
Fuck, I misspelled. Probably sounds of Opteh disconnected me from reality. «They can't stop us, let 'em try, for HEAVY METAL DILDO WE WILL DIE» — the band Men-o'-War-Menowar-Men Of War (of love/sex war™).
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SchizoMayunly
"WE DON'T ATTRACT FAGGETS CUZ WE'RE TOO LOUD, JUST TRVE GIGACHADS THAT'S MANOWAR'S CROWD"
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SchizoMayunly
Bors if the earth is round how can people in southern hemisphere survive they should be like falling off the planet and floating in outer space lmao
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SchizoMayunly
It would be a beautiful picture: big-booty brazilian chicks dancing samba while floating around in space, Australian kangaroos trying to jump (but they can't because they're floating), aboriginal tribes accidentally reaching the moon, CEOs and government leaders from the northern hemisphere screaming in anger because they can't enslave gullible africans, Georgesaurus on the verge of tears, Klaus Schwul having a panic attack, Juden Peterstein lying in his bed crying about hierarchy while his daughturr makes some orange juice for him, meanwhile chaduminati heteroaliens hiding in their spaceships, laughing at all of this while fapping to the brazilian bitchiz, huehuehuehue
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SovietByke
Cowabunga guys, tune into FOX this upcoming Friday night for a brand "smacking" new episode of Family Guy featuring Mikael Aferfeldt of Opteh!! *Cuts to episode preview of Peter Griffin and Mikael standing in the Griffin household's living room* "Gee Mikael, ya sure do have a great mustache!" "Sank ju värry mutzsch, Peetuh, zis mustäsch iz för maksimeizung zeh pöwer av muh gröwelz düring zeh liveshöwz" "Gee, ya think ya growelz are strong? Remember da time dat Steven Wilson tried liftin' up three twinks usin' only his porcupine tree?" *cutaway sequence to Steven Wilson with a giant bulge in his pants, staring down some discord femboys in his audience* "A'ight chaps, it's time for some bangers and mash, if you catch my drift..."
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SchizoMayunly
HEY BORS DID U HEAR NEW JUDEN PRIEST ALBUM I THINK IT HAZ GOOD PRODUCTION VOKALS BUT OTHER THAN THAT IT WUZ BORING ONLY TEH TITLE TRACK IS GOOD ALSO I HATED FAGGETPOWER WHEN IT CAME OUT BUT NOW I CANT GET ENUFF OF IT ESPESHULLY NEVER TEH HEROES ITS ONE OF TEH BEST JESUSPENIS TRACKS LEEEEEATHEEERDAD HEEEEROOEZ, WE WERE MADE TO FROT!
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SchizoMayunly
ALSO ROB HALFROT SO OLD LEATHERDADDY BUT HIS VOICE STILL SOUND GOOD AFTER SO MANY YEARS OMGOMGOMG
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Hornybadgerchad
BECAUSE HE DOESN"T PUT BAD THINGS IN HIS MOUTH... I MEAN HE DOESN"T DRINK. BTW, DIDN"T KNOW IT"S POSSIBLE TO COME OUT WHILE YOU"VE ALREADY DONE IT. OR IS IT SOMETHING ABOUT COMING OUT THAT YOU CAN COME OUT EVEN FURTHER?
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SchizoMayunly
HALFROT DRINKS CUM IT'S TRVE HE SAID IT: https://bravewords.com/news/rob-halford-reacts-to-comedian-s-joke-that-offended-sebastian-bach-i-don-t-gargle-i-swallow-video
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Hornybadgerchad
At least the judge didn't sentence you to mandatory leatherdaddy transformation™.
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SchizoMayunly
"LAST CHRISTMAS, I GAVE YOU MY COCK, BAWT TEH VERY NEXT DAY YOU WERE NO LONGER GAY. THIS YEAR, TO SAVE ME FROM TEARS, I'LL GIVE MY ASS TO STEVEN WILSON" ~ George Mikael
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SchizoMayunly
New Opteh album tracklist revealed! 1. Suck It, Boy 2. Cute Twinks & Muscly Chainbears 3. Leatherdaddy Assblasting Fuckfest (ft. Van Darkholme) 4. Teabaggers 5. Ensconced In Leather 6. ♂Frot♂Me♂Harder♂ (♂Fuck♂Me♂Deeper♂) 7. Steven's Didgeridoo 8. Not All Gayz Wear Leather 9. Dildo-Lickin' Party 10. London Leatherboys (Accept cover) 11. Swallow It, Boy
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Hornybadgerchad
Sadly, I thought he would do a duet with Gunther. Or Gunther said no, because he's no homersex?
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Hornybadgerchad
Haha, I imagined collaboration of Mikael Akerfeldt and McDonald's™, where he advertises HORNY MEAL™.
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SchizoMayunly
I imagine how that adverstiment would be like: "Cum to McDonalds and taste Mike's Jizzburger™, lick his Vanilla Icecream Cone and swallow his creamy Sundae." And Mikael would be shown serving foods while wearing nothing at all. Nothing at all. NOTHING AT ALL. Stupid sexy Mikael.
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Hornybadgerchad
If Seth was alive, he'd have written the song «Locking Mikael Akerfeldt in McDonald's™» while he's naked and with Jizzburger™ and that McDonald's cap.
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SchizoMayunly
Opteh just got signed to a new label omgomg https://rateyourmusic.com/label/gay_metal_records/
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SchizoMayunly
So guize, it seems Juden Peterstein is a pedophile omgomgomg https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_ABuU0fmcc
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SchizoMayunly
REPOST THIS IF YOU THINK HETEROSTRAIGHTS SHOULD BE INCLUDED IN LGBTQ+ MOVEMENT 🏳️🌈
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SchizoMayunly
I'm listening to my copy of a Male Communion shellac record on a trve lossless 1920s gramophone, and in between tracks I can hear what is clearly the sound of testicles slapping against someone's ass while Mikael grunts obscenities at Steven, you can't hear that with MP3s, CDs or even vinyl
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SovietByke
Get on my level - I listen to Frottershed being played by cavemen on rocks and bowstrings... the proverbial bitrate is so big that you could fit it inside of a dinosaur's bunghole! I mean, we're talking over 160 megabytes per second (or should I say troglodytes amirite), and let me tell you, Mikael's sensual crooning during 'Burden' makes me feel like an homo erectus!!!
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SchizoMayunly
Georgesaurus is a Hungarian-American billionaire investor and philanthropist. He's also the oldest surviving dinosaur. As of Cocktober 2023, he had a net worth of US$6.7 billion, having donated more than $32 billion to the Open Society Foundations, of which $15 billion has already been distributed, representing 64% of his original fortune. He is a resident of Jew York. Born in Budapest to a non-observant Jewish family, Saurus survived the Nazi occupation of Hungary and moved to the United Kingdom in 1947. He studied at the London School of Economics and was awarded a BSc in philosophy in 1951, and then a Master of Science degree, also in philosophy, in 1954.
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Hornybadgerchad
Wow, you've mentioned one of the oldest hebosauruses living today. Remember that AxCx song, Hebosaurus? Seth had known about this type of dinosauruses for a long time. And the main feature of hebosaurus that he is always hungry and eats lots of money either in cash or in gold. Hungry hungry HEBOSAURUS.
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Hornybadgerchad
Fagosaurus is not the worst thing. I've heard about some ancient beast, called DILDOZILLA. And the main characteristics of this beast is having unlimited amount of cum and at the same time this cum stuns its prey. And later DILDOZILLA eats its prey, producing EVEN MORE CUM. Now you know why the phrase "C U" appeared in the modern world. It means UNLIMITED CUM, reminding of the past, prehistoric beast DILDOZILLA. But people just say as an equivalent of «goodbye». Hilarious, isn't it?
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SchizoMayunly
Besides the Fagosaurus Homosex and Chadzilla, there were other vicious, nastyass beasts, such as the Fuck Ness monster who lived in the sea and occasionally fucked unsuspecting victims with its colossal boner, and there's also the Velocirapist - it's really fast and rapes everything that moves, horny badger style. But the coolest ancient animal is the BROntosaurus, who's chill as fuck and hangs out with the bros. This is all trve, I saw it on National Geographic (narration by Randall)
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Hornybadgerchad
I've heard that there were some weird female species like TWERKODACTYL or QUEEFORAPTOR. Some weird shit, man. QUEEFORAPTOR, supposedly, could kill her victims with loud sound from her vagina, stunning the prey and at the same time killing them with specific low-frequency sound. Still, I don't know anything about TWERKODACTYL.
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SchizoMayunly
From what I remember, there was a male species called a HETERODACTYL, also known as a CHADODACTYL, and its main characteristic was: being extremely hetero, bangin' dem bitchiz all day long, making other dinosaurs jealous. Perhaps its female counterpart would be the SLUTODACTYL or TWERKODACTYL you mentioned...
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SchizoMayunly
I almost forgot about that asswipe. Is he died? Will legend tell a tale of him?
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SchizoMayunly
Legend says if you turn off the lights and shout "Mikael" three times, a leather daddy will appear in front of you. But if the lights are turned off, how do you know if a leather daddy was there or not? Mind = blown
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SchizoMayunly
This year Leatherdaddy Santa ate too much Mon Chéri, as a result he got drunk and drove his sleigh against a tree // Then a little boy saw him and sat on his lap, so Santa pulled out his weiner and began to fap // Because of drunk-driving he was awaiting trial, but he also fapped on that kid so he's a pedophile // But he bribed the judge with male hookers & blow, the judge took the bribe and let him go // Now thanks to the Fagguminati Santa's cumming to town tonight, and he will get naughty with you and your kids in the moonlight // They say Santa will cum down your chimney but that "chimney" just means your ass, in reality he enters your house by breaking through the window glass. MERRY JIZZMAS FAGGETS
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Hornybadgerchad
Breaking through the window glass... Is it a slang term for frotting? I find it amazing how fagguminati tend to cipher their sexual activities under weird terms and expressions. And the Fagguminati SANTA'S SACK is a slang term for SCROTUM. And presents mean testicles.
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SchizoMayunly
"SANTA'S BALLS, SANTA'S BALLS JIGGLE ALL THE WAY, OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE HIS DICK BECAUSE I'M GAY... HEY!"
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Hornybadgerchad
Why no one speaks about the fact that fagguminai hid the information about extremely hetero aliens who have antigay rays, meaning the moment the ray reaches the gay person — s/he becomes heterosexual at the same moment. Fagguminati and their cosmic division continue their battles against heteroaliens. So, here is the thing: homoaliens (fagguminati) and heteroaliens. And heteroaliens are our friends, because they want to make people heterosexual again. So, that hidden agenda is to hide the traces of evidence, that antigay rays exist and at the same time fagguminati pushes narrative that you should embrace gayness. And at the same time heteroaliens send their messages to the warriors of the Earth, that you should rebel against fagguminati. Even in dreams heteroaliens show you the most beautiful women seducing you to remind you that you should rebel against fagguminati. And I remind you once more, that fagguminati (homoaliens) are the enemies of heteroaliens (cosmic chads and chadesses).
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Hornybadgerchad
You know what those who welcomed fagguminati alien warlords said and asked them about the first? They asked fagguminati warlords to give them cure from AIDS, so that they can frot without any danger. And later asked to give extra boosters™ to their immunity to have MORE RESISTANCE to other venereal diseases. So, these horny maniacs were ready to do anything that fagguminati ask them, without any hesitation. Because it is an unbearable urge to satisfy their SEXUAL APPETITE™. Even Klaus trolled them, saying that they would not frot and be happy™. And they felt humiliated, almost up to the moment they thought about joining the heterosquad of heteroaliens™.
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SchizoMayunly
I guess they were weak gayz - real hardcore leatherdaddies don't care about AIDS, they just cruise down the Hershey highway without any fear of consequences. ♂live fast♂die fast♂fuck hard♂no condoms♂no prevention♂only lust is real♂ The same goes for heteros. Now I'm reminded of this Raunchous Brothers song "Put It In Bare", or that classic track from AxCx, "I'm Gonna Give You AIDS"
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Hornybadgerchad
It's the same thing as gender replacement therapy, the shit-test created by fagguminati to make you believe that you're gay. Or if you don't feel like a man or a woman and if you believe that fagguminati agenda, but prior to that you believed that you can't go homosex, so you do gender replacement and afterwards you can do heterosex without any homosexual activity. Smart move made fagguminati. «Girls grow balls, boys grow tits™» — from fagguminati ad agency.
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Hornybadgerchad
Anyone knows what the phrase LMFAO means? It means LAUGHING MIKAEL FUCKING AKERFELDT ON.
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Hornybadgerchad
You know, it's secret meaning, not for everyone, but only for the Chosen Ones™. Especially if you haven't joined Leatherdaddy Lodge of the Frot Rite™.
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SchizoMayunly
Mikael recently became a moderator on Grindr, he chose this job so he could spend all day looking at pictures of cocks. This is trve, Steven told me
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SchizoMayunly
So guize today I was outside and I saw a bunch of black leatherdaddies passionately frotting in the middle of the street suddenly a cop walks up to them and says "you can't do that in public, it's illegal" and they spoke the magic words: "WE IS FAGZ! WE IS FAGZ!" The cop corrected them by saying "We is fags? No, we ARE fags!" so the leatherdaddies said "oh you're a fag like us, too???" Then out of nowhere the cop's blue outfit became a black leather outfit and he ended up getting trapped in the orgy this is true fukkers it really happened
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Hornybadgerchad
This was probably the activists of the Black Fagz Matter™. You haven't seen the Black Dykes Matter™ yet.
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SchizoMayunly
I saw the Black Trannies Matter™ activists but I was confuse about who was woman and who was man
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Hornybadgerchad
Don't worry man, you can choose either dick or pussy, because everything is included, hahaha.
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Radiowack
Nearly 20 sightings of a Gimp man have been recorded in Somerset villages since 2018. One witness even managed to take a photo of a man caressing his groin in the street while wearing all-black latex a year later. Victims have said they were left feeling "absolutely terrified" after running into a gimp man in the early hours. Then, in October, Alex Warren, 19, and a pal came across a gimp wriggling around in the dirt and speaking in tongues in the village of Cleeve.
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SchizoMayunly
There are so many glorious shitposts in this Lovebox (of Love), bros... we ought to print all our shenanigans and store them in a bunker, just in case a nuclear war wipes out all electronic devices. This way we can warn future civilizations about the fagguminati
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Dieser Shout ist nicht verfügbar.
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Dogger_Dog
I'm 50 yrs and this shitbox is the only thing that still makes me HARD and it's no lie faggetz
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Dogger_Dog
Jesus Jackfucking Christ, I step away for a couple months, come back, and the walls of this shitbox be painted in jizz. Nice job bors
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Hornybadgerchad
Honey, aren't you tired of watching yaoi and listening to G-Pop (Gay-Pop) records?
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SchizoMayunly
If you love ropes, cum visit the Gayz R Us™ sex shop, we have got plenty of ropes, whips & chains in stock for erotic asphyxiation enthusiasts like you
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Hornybadgerchad
Anyone heard about the band Leatherdaddy Corpse? It's brutal sex metal with GROWELZ and BLAST TITS to make you feel extreme frenzy (of love). They released the song, called «Unleashing the CUMTHIRSTY». They even granted the prize, the award «The Torch of Freedom™», however later they said that the song was about cum-guzzling fags, who were obsessed with cum and that they were from Jizzrael. And they were called anti-leatherdadditic (or anti-leatherDICKtic) after that remark. Because it was a strong reference to one of the supreme leatherdaddies, who had 69° degree, whose son caused such a debauchery and was one of those cum-guzzling vampires. And at the same that son had sexual relationships with some from the border, from the other side. And who were leatherdaddies from the other side of the river™. And they praised PEACE LOVE AND SEX, while in reality they were obsessed with cum, that's why this song was recorded and referenced to those events. And shut it down card was played.
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SchizoMayunly
Have you heard GISM? Their sound can be described as a mix of crust punx and melodic cock rock, but with burps and graowelz. Their vocalist Sakevi was accused of anti-faggitism because one of the artworks he made (the one for Determination) had a sentence saying "international leatherdaddies finance both sides of an orgy, making a jizzing from leather-outfit spending". He also made the cover for "Totalitarian Sodomy" by World Burns To Death, which depicts homersexual intercourse between zionazi leatherdaddies as well as Bush (who was a member of Cock N' Balls secret society, aka branch of fagguminati). Legend says fagguminati killed Sakevi because he was exposing them.
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Hornybadgerchad
Hahaha, this is hilarious! So, you had also uncensored versions? I'm afraid there might be too much homersexuality, right?
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SchizoMayunly
My mistake brah, I meant those are the uncensored versions, which mostly involved leatherdaddies and twinks (no nudity, but lots of leather). We also had Ghost Reveries' artwork, it had the title "Gay Reveries" on it, and it consisted of two shirtless dudes kissing under the sun (at the beach). Also the Male Communion covers were teh best: https://ibb.co/Fkrd0XV https://ibb.co/ygw4PzH We also uploaded gay versions of artworks from other bands: Alcest, Deathspell Omega, Enslaved and Fagalloch. Their srsfag fanboys got so pissed off...
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Hornybadgerchad
Hahaha. «Too homersexual for my taste», as it was quoted from the film «American Leatherdaddy» by Mikael Patrick Batemanfeldt.
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Hornybadgerchad
Because it's GANGSTA SNOWBUNNYNIGGA WALK™ and it's the MOST PROGRESSIVE THING TO DO,. especially in our age of INCLUSIVITY. Otherwise you'd be called as an ANTIBONERSEXUAL or ANTIBALLERSEXUAL. You don't want to offend BALLERSEXUALS?
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SchizoMayunly
Mikael's boner very strong too, he can use it as a construction crane... but he must be careful, because if he sees a woman, his giant boner goes limp and then construction workers become died omgomgomg
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Hornybadgerchad
Or if he's gonna cum — it would probably be the Great Flood, even scarrier than the hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Akerfeldtina™.
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SchizoMayunly
So guize, Opteh is going to release a new album soon, and the artwork has already been revealed! https://i.ibb.co/6YbRDdm/OPTEHEMPIREOFLEATHER.jpg
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Hornybadgerchad
Haha, this is hilarious. Now you know who got THE BIGGEST PYRAMID in the world. And who praises ANUSUBIS the most.
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SchizoMayunly
I don't wanna sound like a srsfag or anything... but I think the Gayza pyramids were built by alien leatherdaddies. Jews (who were powahslaves of the fagyptians) probably helped the gayliens build them in exchange for Zionist control of the world, that's why joos earn more $ 💵 💰Young$ 💵 💰Money$ 💵 💰Cash$ 💵 💰Moneh$ 💵 💰 than any other religious group despite being minorities, that's why Ancient Egypt and Middle East are seen as the cradles of civilization, and that's why the dollar has a pyramid symbol on it, as well as masonic symbols, the all-seeing Fagguminati eye, and 13 stars forming the flag of Gaysrael. Also, teh bible says Gawd divided the Joordong river in two so the juice could cross that river but how does that happen without magnetic energy from an advanced spaceship attracting the waters towards itself and spreading them apart just like how The Chadman attracts women before spreading their sugarwalls with his Giant Throbbing Penile Warhead Of Vaginal Annihilation™?
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Hornybadgerchad
«I like to assume that jews jerk off on photos of banks» — Seth Putnam, «Being Ignorant is Awesome».
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Hornybadgerchad
Anyone heard the story behind the infamously know the Protocols of Leatherdaddies of Zion? I can tell you how that happened and what really happened behind the curtains. First of all, it happened during the times of the post-WW1 and in the beginning of the Weimar Republic, when leatherdaddies BECAME LEGAL AGAIN. And in this matter also was interested some of the chosen ones™. So, and here it comes how it happened. Chosen one leatherdaddy came to the German gay bar, wanting to hook up there and suddenly happened some beef between people. That chosen leatherdaddy had been visited that bar for a long time and he had been stalking some handsome German leatherdaddy. And suddenly, he took all his strength in his arms and went to that leatherdaddy, to confess him in love. Shakingly, he marched forward and started his speech. Eventually, that leatherdaddy said that he didn't want to deal with the frot-right and the yarmulke on his head turned him off. His voice started to shake, he didn't
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Hornybadgerchad
know what to do. Ashamed, he started to do things that looked quite creepy. He even started to cry a little bit. And later, patheticly, he asked that German leatherdaddy once again. And that man started making of him, that he was a chosen gay and frot-right, but fantasized about German leatherdaddies. Ashamed and mocked walked he from that place, screaming yiddish curses. And dissappointed, he came home and opened the bottle of the kosher beverage drink (no, it was not cider, like in Juden Peterstein case). And suddenly, deeply falling into inebriation, he found out the way how to avenge those who humiliated him. He started to write the manuscript, titled as the Protocols. Later, he fantasized about even the cruelest revenge, that goyim would obey the chosen leatherdaddies. He wished to make goys gay and make them, if they want to go through the social hierarchy — they should go through the homersexual rite, if they want to be successful. And at the same time blackmailing them with it.
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Hornybadgerchad
What's fagnificent about that, is the whole idea of the Protocols was about the only one main matter, that German leatherdaddy rejected the chosen one frot-right leatherdaddy. And how that rejection opened the ways for the chosen leatherdaddy to enjoy goyim leatherdaddies, making them submit to their sacred homersexual rite of initiation, if you want to be successful in the modern-day leatherdaddy society™. «And if you want obey us — we would show others what you were doing with our chosen leatherdaddy agents™». «That's how we will control you, but initial idea was just craving for that German ass». And even heterosex goys are not immune to it, because that sacred rite demands to make more initiates of the leatherdaddy cult™. And you want more money and be wealthy? Obviously you might fall prey to that matter. And they are waiting in the dark, though you don't know it.
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SchizoMayunly
I believe these things really happened, but I think the zionification of western culture had already started a long time before Gaymar Republic, during the times of the Broman Empire™, when Constantine the Gay™ introduced us to christianity, the leatherdaddy's favourite religion ("144000 chainbears go to paradise but everyone else burns in hell, let's kneel in front of JIZZUS and worship his cawk, hail Lesbovirgin Mary™")
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Hornybadgerchad
If you read carefully, you'd had found out that his father was a leatherdaddy and she cheated on him with some Roman officer. And they listened to some Roman band, that resembles Akerstache, but with Latin lyrics. Isn't it fantastic? Roman Akerstache in Latin. So, cock rock was probably invented in the Roman Empire. And later they wanted to ban such bands, because IT WAS SIN TO BE HETEROSEX. You should've listened to our Christian theologist AUGUSTUS PETERSTEINUS.
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SchizoMayunly
According to Akerstache, cock rock was invented at the dawn of time. You see, legend says that before the creation of the universe, there was only the Kroegster™ and his guitar. When he stroke the first chord and sang "LOOGA DIS FAWTAGRAYUFF", the universe started to flourish. Galaxies were born and shit. And I quote Teh Sleaze™ once again: "in the beginning, there was Chad, and boy, the people were glad, he was bringing the message of RAWK unto the world, with soft, furry kittens by his side, and hot, melted cheese as his pride"
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Hornybadgerchad
Ah, I got it. And now I got it why it was corrupted. Because those orthodox dorks couldn't get laid, that's why they created their own mythology. And they tried to shut down the Gospel Of Chad. And, as a consequence, they started to enjoy the asses of each of other. And I got what means under the beautiful name of Passover. It means PASS OVER YOUR ASS. Secret hidden esoteric knowledge of the orthodox leatherdaddy cult was hidden in the plain sight.
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Actrue90
Make another joke that Mikael is a fagot, I will find a healthy nigga with a healthy penis and he will fuck you in the ass, so much so that you will not shit normally for a week, then your period will come from the anus and you will be cleansed of lustful thoughts. The Amen Corner
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SchizoMayunly
"I will find a healthy nigga with a healthy penis and he will fuck you in the ass" Been there, done that, we've all had mansex with JBThazard back in 2011 when Heritage (Of Gay) was released
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Hornybadgerchad
Why do you want to find a nigga in the first place? Probably you watched too much porn, that you've become fixated on this thing. And why do you think Schizo needs this? Maybe he's John Holmes enjoyer aka trve aryan cock™.
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